My main goal in life is to leave this world a better place when I leave than when I entered. So how do I start making baby steps to start that? Today it’s going to take the form of having a difficult personal discussion. You do not need to make a public statement like I am, but I think this conversation is incredibly important to have with yourself.
This is by far the hardest article I have ever sat down to write & it challenged me to peel back layers of this onion that I call my life. This isn’t a humble brag or a way for me to show off, if anything this brings all my shortcomings into the light. I hope this article helps one person realize that just because I am in this position of owning a clothing line that I have mental struggles & battles just like every single other person.
This one probably took many of you by surprise since I push so hard against saying what if. However, the reason I push so hard against it is because it’s something that I find myself doing. I don’t really think about “what if’s” with WeArePR. I think about these “what if” scenarios in other aspects of my life. What if I’m supposed to be doing something else with my life? Would I have a larger impact on the world if I took my strength of kindness & applied it to streaming video games on Twitch? There’s just no way of knowing. I don’t really have any free time between running this clothing line, preparing for a powerlifting meet, working on projects around the house, not to mention a family. I just don’t see a way for it to be possible for me to try any of these new adventures or try to weave them into the clothing line. Going into this mentality of asking “what if” is a toxic place just to be at since I don’t know how to eliminate some of the “what if’s” without going all in.
NEGATIVE SELF TALK
This next one is one that I’m not really proud of. The mind is an extremely powerful place that can do incredible things. I truly believe we don’t give this the credit that it deserves in regard to what the mind can accomplish. That also goes the opposite way too, the mind can be an extremely destructive place. Anyone who has followed what we’ve been doing for some time can see that I put tremendous pressure on myself. While I do have expectations for myself to help this world, there are plenty of times where that backfires on me. Especially when I don’t hit a deadline that I have set for myself. When I get into this place, it’ almost like nothing else matters besides the fact that I have failed & that’s what I focus on. It doesn’t just go away, I fixate on this for hours, typically derailing the entire rest of the day. I think I have been able to improve this over the past year since I have put so much emphasis on this, however I'm still working on staying positive at all times in my own head, it’s a battle that I continue to fight.
Putting The Future First
For most people I see the exact opposite, I see a lot of people fearing change because they don’t want to change from the past. However, where I tend to struggle at is the fact that at times I tend to live in the future, I don’t enjoy the present or what is happening in the day to day activities (I can see how some might see this is as a good thing because you are always looking forward but there are many times where I missed opportunities in the present because I was looking forward trying to anticipate the future). There are so many opportunities in life that pop up & then disappear just as fast & these require quick decision making. For example, I have missed opportunities to collaborate with others because I didn’t answer an email due to the fact it didn’t fit into my “master plan” of the future. I’m almost too rigid with a plan & don’t want to deviate from it at all.
Comparison Of My Life To Others
This is another one that I have not really voiced to anyone except Laura & I’m not really proud of this. I don’t get caught up with the average person on Instagram flexing because I understand that 99.9% of that is staged. Where I find myself struggling is when I see people actually winning. I see clothing line owners like Rob Bailey or business owners like Gary Vaynerchuck & get frustrated that I’m not where they are at. I fully understand that both of them are incredibly talented & I’m not really jealous of them winning. I just go into that weird mental space where I compare my life at 26 years old to theirs now. It sounds really silly putting in on paper but this is something I struggle with. (Little side-note: all of these insecurities & person struggles sound very dumb on paper but they are my truths)
Entitlement To Success
Here’s the last one I have for you, entitlement to success. This is a big one that I still don’t think I’ve made a ton of progress on. I see all these other businesses climbing over people, not caring about their product, & not caring about their customers but they’re still winning. Why am I not doing as well as them? I put more effort into our products, more care into our team, & more interactions into our supports than any of them. I feel like I should be 60x more successful than what we are now. It’s almost as if I have a mental check list. As long as I hit every check box then I should be successful. I know that’s not how the world works in my heart & that’s where some of my frustration drives from but it’s hard for me to justify it however this also ties into the comparison of myself to others struggle.
So there’s my list. It’s not pretty putting out all of my inner struggles on paper. It honestly isn’t as liberating as I thought it would be but I want to remind everyone that I didn’t write this article for me. I’m writing this for the six people in the world that will read this & understand they are not alone in this world & people like myself struggle with the exact same things.